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关于自信 我也说说

Jun 06, 2016 pm 08:01 PM
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1. 培养耐心 自信确实需要培养,所谓的培养,即是说并非朝夕可达。所以,培养自信的最重要前提就是要具备耐心,如若缺乏耐心就要培养耐心。没有耐心的话就什么都做不成,更别提什么自信了。有所成就,就会伴随着自信的增长,而一事无成的人穿得再整齐也只不

1. 培养耐心

自信确实需要培养,所谓的“培养”,即是说并非朝夕可达。所以,培养自信的最重要前提就是要具备耐心,如若缺乏耐心就要培养耐心。没有耐心的话就什么都做不成,更别提什么“自信了”。有所成就,就会伴随着自信的增长,而一事无成的人穿得再整齐也只不过草包一个。

2. 习得并精通一种技能

具备学习能力的人通常都很自信,反过来也一样,真正自信的人通常是因为相信自己的学习能力。所以面对挑战的时候他们不会怕,不会心虚,因为他们知道“大不了去学么”。自学能力的基础是耐心,而习得任何一种技能都会让人更加懂得耐心的重要,并且同时因为具备耐心与学习能力而更加自信。只要花时间真正精通了一种技能,那么学会其他一种技能的时候就会变得更轻松——这是良性循环。

3. 相信积累的力量

再大的石头也无法阻挡种子发芽,只因为种子一旦开始发芽,那细胞的分裂尽管速度不快但却不见天日永不终止。滴水可以穿石的道理谁都懂但又好像谁都不相信—— 处于起点的人就好像是一粒细胞或者一滴水,但大多数人却误以为或者希望自己在起点上就强大锋利犹如一束激光,但这不现实。要通过学习培养耐心,运用耐心去等待长期积累之后可以获得的难以想象的好处与力量。

4. 了解自己的局限

没有人无所不能。就算拥有真正强大学习能力的人也无法做到无所不能——因为时间不够。有些领域确实必需天分。在自己确实不擅长的地方该自卑就要自卑——这没有什么不好意思的。该自卑的时候不自卑,就多了一个心理负担——并且还是永远摆脱不掉的负担,最终,肯定会拖累自信。凡事儿做得好必然容易自信,做得不好就很难自信,但是还没上阵呢,就背着一个又一个的包袱,能走多远?能做多好?

5. 凡事儿都要提前做足功课

大声说话也好,穿着正式也罢,最多只能让一个人“显得”自信,而非真正自信。“坐在第一排”可能是因为近视,“快速走路”往往是因为时间观念不强——这些都与自信没关系。做任何事情,提前做足了功课,想不自信都难。自信不等于自以为是,自以为是的人最终都会被现实砸烂。中国人说“成事在天,谋事在人”,西方人说“上帝的归上帝,凯撒的归凯撒”,某个层面上都是一回事儿:不要理会运气(该来的时候它自然会来),重要的是专心做好功课。

6. 注意细节

俗话说,“行家看门道,外行看热闹”。当我们关注一样东西足够久的之后,就会发现自己犹如“开了天眼”一般,能够看到的,看清楚的越来越多。在自己必须做的事情上,一定要保持专注;不仅要专注,还要专注很长时间。只有这样,才有能力看到更多的细节,才有能力做足功课,才有能力处变不惊。很多时候,所谓“成功”只不过是一个中间状态,“更大的成功”才是挑战。忽视细节的人都并非故意,只是因为功夫未到;功夫未到,“中间状态”之后就是更大的失败。

7. 培养从容的态度

走路慢一点,姿态自然从容;说话慢一点,声音小一点别人也能挺清楚。但这些都是形式而已,关键在于脑子不能慢。动作太快往往只是因为脑子太慢所以想得太少不够周到。有演讲经验的人都知道,说话太快实际上更可能是因为紧张。越有能力的人越容易从容,因为他们的能力足以使他们掌控局面。从容不是能够模仿的,是养出来的——靠实力。

8. 关心身边的人

谁都需要身边的人的支持与关心,正如身边的人也需要他支持、他关心一样。与很多人相信的相反,朋友太多,不见得一定是好事儿。因为关心一个人支持一个人都是需要花费时间,而每个人不可逾越的终极限制只有一样东西——时间。小心选择朋友,因为你将与他们分享你的生命。没有这样的态度,就不会有真正的朋友。有那么三两个真正朋友的人,都会比较自信。

9. 不要轻易追求完美

完美总是好的,但并不总是能够做到。事事追求完美的下场只有一个:标准越来越低。生活着这样的例子比比皆是,很多圣男圣女(剩男剩女)就是这样炼成的。学会在这个不完美的世界里不完美地生存,是一种难得的智慧。深刻理解“不完美才是常态”的人才可能做到“不会无谓地自卑”。凭借耐心,相信积累,再加上正常的智商,就算做不到最好,也能做到更好,何必过分强求?

10. 尽量独立,承担必要的责任

有位哲人这样说过:“一个人的幸福程度取决与他能够在多大程度上独立于这个世界”。这句话包含着深刻的智慧。很多的时候,独立意味着完整地承担必要的责任;能够运用自己的能力承担必要责任的人必然相对更加自信。一个人不能够独立,往往就会沦为他人的负担,没有人不讨厌负担,而被讨厌的人怎么可能自信呢?自信的人都知道一个简单的道理,自己是自己,别人是别人;自己的事情自己完成,自己的责任自己承担。

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